A Year of Much Bickering by Jane Ayres

WHAT DID SANTA BRING TO MUCH BICKERING? I wasn't first down in the dark on Christmas morning to let the dogs out and switch on the tree lights. Cook was already busy in the kitchen and I didn't want to get in her way, so I made a tray of tea and toast and took it back up for us to enjoy in bed. I had thought that we might have a little 'lie in', but neither of us really felt in the mood for that kind of thing …Crichton was too excited about his presents…always such a kid at heart…so we got dressed and went down to see what Santa had left us in our stockings. A book of Pointless trivia for me…fabulous. A pair of wind up racing Santas for Crichton...almost painful on the instep as a Lego brick. The twins haven't surfaced much before eleven o'clock for years, so we set off for St Apollonia's a deux. The usual crowd were there, minus Douglas and Monica who were at A and E with little Vespasian. He had disgraced himself early and, having pus...

THE FINAL PREPARATIONS AT THE MANOR Well, The great Tsunami that is Christmas Day is nearly upon us. All we can do is hope to swim with the tide and come out alive at the other end. It is tradition at the Manor to leave present wrapping until the very last minute. It takes an age but allows me a quiet time with a bottle of sherry and Carols from Kings, when nobody will bother me and I can ponder the Christmases of yore when a plastic ray gun or a whoopy cushion were enough to keep the twins happy until their birthday.  For once I came away with the same number of pairs of scissors as I started with. Not so the sticky tape. I'm sure I had four rolls when I began the task but two have disappeared under the paper, never to be seen again.When everything was done up with ribbons and tags,   I was rather pleased with my  efforts. H owever small the gift, it should look like one gave it one’s all and I think I have achieved that. Of course, Crichton’s ...

  CAROLS AT ST APPOLONIA'S  The carol service started at 4pm this year. Early enough for the children to stay awake and late enough for us to digest our Sunday lunches before the off.  The church was very beautiful. Candles everywhere. My window looked very elegant if I dare say so myself…the poinsettias from Aldi still looked fresh…they were quite good enough. There's no need to splash out at Waitrose when the sill is so very high up and nobody looks that closely.  The Sunday school had decorated a rather sparse Christmas tree (its needles were already dropping) with paper stars and other tat that they’d been working on, and with the lights switched on it was almost pretty.  We started with the first verse of  Once in Royal  sung as a solo…by Tanya Hooper of all choices.  Her voice was truly sublime in the darkness and gave me quite a festive tingle down my spine. If she hadn’t been picking her nose when the lights cam...

TREE TRIMMING AT THE MANOR The Manor House tree is up and decorated and t he place is filled with the smell of pine and polish. The whole family helped and for once, there were no arguments. Alyona insisted on her pre-decorating deep clean first… she likes to give all the wood work a good rub over before we start putting the holly up and then Crichton can dragg the tree in and make everything dusty again.  It's an enormous specimen this year, and completely fills the hall, with the top branches reaching almost to the second-floor landing. Maybe if it was just a tad less bushy we could get up the stairs without scratching our legs but Crichton is not a man to downsize.  Heaven only knows where we shall hang our coats for the duration.  Actually I wish we'd turned of the radiator on the landing as the tree is already beginning to drop. There's no way we can get to the thermostat now so  Alyona will complain like mad about the ...

   CYNTHIA AND CRICHTON ENJOY A SPOT OF HANDEL On Saturday evening we all, yes, the twins as well, went up to the Cathedral for a candle lit concert of Handel’s Messiah. It always makes me feel Christmassy...in the proper way. Bunty was singing in the chorus.  She’s been demoted to alto this season and she’s taking it pretty well, but it must be hard on her, having been squealing away on those wonderful top notes for so long…maybe a little too long, some say. She will miss always getting the solos. Derek who is a ‘friend’ of the choral society was on door duty, selling programmes and showing people to their seats.  He seemed surprised to see Crichton.       ‘…didn’t think this was your kind of thing, old man. I have to come along to support the memsahib, but you've got no excuse.’   He found us a spot by the radiators for which we were very grateful…it can be bitter in the nave.  Out go the li...

ALL THE FUN OF THE MUCH BICKERING CHRISTMAS FAYRE The Christmas Fayre was another huge success. One of our best ever. £1763 taken and a few donations still to come. The money will go some way towards funding the  desperately needed  Lavatory Upgrade at St Apollonia's.  I felt so proud  when the vicar announced the takings…proud of the team, not myself of course.  The usual crowd were setting up in the hall when I arrived at five thirty. I always like to allow the younger members of the team to hump the tables out before I arrive with the Christmas bunting. My back does not allow such things.  Julie had accumulated a mass of trinkets for her bric-a-brac stall, many of which have been seen before. I recognised a particularly unpleasant model parrot (resin not china) its beak wasn’t chipped when I donated it three years ago.  Norma and her mother had the plant stall well in hand and Santa’s grotto was almost complete, ...

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