Bunty Takes Sanctuary at the Manor

ALL THE FUN OF THE MUCH BICKERING CHRISTMAS FAYRE

The Christmas Fayre was another huge success. One of our best ever. £1763 taken and a few donations still to come.The money will go some way towards funding the desperately needed Lavatory Upgrade at St Apollonia's. 

I felt so proud  when the vicar announced the takings…proud of the team, not myself of course. 

The usual crowd were setting up in the hall when I arrived at five thirty. I always like to allow the younger members of the team to hump the tables out before I arrive with the Christmas bunting. My back does not allow such things. 

Julie had accumulated a mass of trinkets for her bric-a-brac stall, many of which have been seen before. I recognised a particularly unpleasant model parrot (resin not china) its beak wasn’t chipped when I donated it three years ago. 

Norma and her mother had the plant stall well in hand and Santa’s grotto was almost complete, thanks to Edith. She makes a marvellous elf even with a limp, and she’s definitely not ready to pass on her pointy ears to a younger woman just yet.

But Crichton's been no help whatsoever. Yes, he carried the tom-bola and all the tins and bottles in from the car , but he couldn’t stay to help arrange them as he’d been out all day when he should have been WFH. How convenient for him to have a conference call at six …a chit chat with his pal Inky is more likely. 

Karen from the new houses in Tuppence Street helped me in the end and promised to take charge of the Grand Draw if we needed an extra pair of hands. She seems very capable (Norma has been grooming her for twelve months) and the clever girl had sold twelve books of raffle tickets in the first week of August. She has a special knack that makes people part with their money without them noticing. I think she may have worked in telesales. Anyway, there’s no doubt she will be welcomed onto the committee in the New Year.

The next day, Gerald came in with the floats and dished out bags of ten pees to everyone. We filled up the urn, laid out the cups and saucers and liberated the mince pies from their Tupperware boxes, then the doors opened and we were off. 

The vicar made a splendid Santa for the third year running. Arriving on a flat-bed trailer pulled on the quad bike by Stubbins (dressed as a reindeer) was a stroke of pure genius and one that we shall repeat. I’d no idea it could go so fast. We nearly lost him on the turn into the carpark. 

Now we've bought a new beard that hooks on round the ears, I hope he won’t come out in a rash. I’m sure it was the glue and not the beard itself that was to blame last year. The poor man's been seeing a dermatologist for the last twelve months, but he never complains.

Claire and Paul did a fine trade in second hand books as usual…it’s mostly paper backs that sell. I spotted at least three copies of Fifty Shades…she’s a poppet and kept one back for me.

347 smarties in the jar… Thank you Bunty

The fruit cake weighed two pounds, five and a half ounces… Thank you Sally.

And the teddy’s name turned out to be Gerhard… Thank you Monica.

Refreshments did a roaring trade too and Mr Harris played festive music on his Jew’s harp throughout the morning…so much easier on the ear than the saxophone player that we have endured previously. 

All in all, a splendid morning’s work. 

The only fly in the ointment was Tanya Hooper, who shut her fingers in the fire door round the back of Santa’s Grotto. She screamed blue murder and frightened poor Edith half to death, but the damage was only superficial. She may lose a nail but I expect it will grow back in time. She shouldn’t have been playing around with the door anyway. 

We calmed the situation down by offering hot sweet tea to Edith, the resin parrot to Tanya and Crichton’s bottle of Famous Grouse to Mr Hooper, who was cutting up rough and asking to see our Health and Safety risk assessment. So no harm done.

Crichton comments...

Shelled out the usual twenty-five quid on junk at the fete. Had a go at everything. Cynthia was very firm about that. Came home with a second-hand bucket, three mince pies, and a bottle of Panda Pops from the tom-bola. Feeling virtuous. I wonder if I could just give them the money and stay home next year…