Bunty Takes Sanctuary at the Manor

Pancake Pandemonium

 Monica and I were keen to get down to the village green early to watch the festivities. It gets very crowded and I wanted to get a good view of proceedings without Brexit getting trampled underfoot.

Thirty children from the village school set things off, all brandishing their mother’s frying pans. They lined up for the start, jostling for position and were issued with pancakes of dubious origin. Some looked were very ragged as if they might have been used before. The little dears ran and tossed, fell and scraped their knees, got up again and toddled with their pans to the tape with rapturous applause from parents and neighbours. 

Rev Colin presented a box of Ferrero Rocher (I knew they would come in handy again) to the winner, Tanya Hooper. She has v long legs and a sure grip for a child of her age. 

By now the number of spectators had increased five-fold despite the rain, and even Stubbins had wandered up for the main event. 

It turns out he was running a book, and I when I noticed a rather hunky, young blonde chap in the line-up, I felt compelled to invested £5 each way on him. Monica tells me he's called Knut and is her personal trainer at the gym. Lucky Monica!

A field of fourteen runners each with a heavy cast iron pan, sturdy boots and gum shields stood waiting like greyhounds in the slips, and after only three false starts, they were off, tossing as they ran.

The Much Bickering course which, unlike others in the shires, is cross country, ends with the winners fighting it out for victory in the duck pond. It’s a good three mile run and we lost sight of them as they headed for the copse, with Knut well out in front. He had kept his lead when they entered the home straight, and the crowds surged over to the village green to witness the final toss-off. 

It is at this point that the action always becomes more violent. Heads can be broken and teeth lost in the fracas to get a pancake to the tape. The cheering was ear splitting.

If Brexit hadn’t caught sight of the pancakes and slipped his collar, I really think our Viking would have won. 

Such a shame. 

I don’t think he’ll press charges.

Crichton Comments

I’d backed the newcomer, Knut Olafson £50 to win the pancake race at 3/1 and was rather put out to find he had faltered at the last…. I can’t think what went wrong. 

I had him as a dead cert and so did most other people.

Stubbins must have raked in the cash this year. He was a damned sight too chipper when he phoned to give me the news.

To make matters worse, Peter Purbright called in again.

They have decided on the full excavation rather than just test pits, as we feared they would. He’ll be over for yet another site visit, in a couple of weeks. How many more times do they need to look at a hole in the ground? 

Not a good day.